What Else Is New?
BY CASSIUS KENT
After I told Jennifer everywhere I had traveled to in Russia and showed her the pictures on my phone, she asked “What else is new?” She’s bored with my antics. The only thing that excites her now are the things that she’s involved in. “I’m going home,” she said because she was tired. How hard do you think it was to convince her to stay? We kept talking until someone’s drunken interruption caused us to drift to different corners of the room. She found me later as I was being a social butterfly and hugged me from behind and kissed my ear, knowing fully well that I would still never leave because I was officially hosting tonight. When she announced that she was leaving to go to Darkroom it wasn’t a threat it was a resignation so I didn’t have to stop her because “going to Darkroom” was such an improvement from “I’m going home”.
IT IS YOUR JOB TO KEEP PEOPLE PARTYING EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT PARTYING WITH YOU.
As soon as she left, Miranda arrived. Miranda had boyfriend problems to talk about as she took off her coat. I had been secretly waiting/hoping for the dissolution of that relationship in a blatant mis-use of The Secret. As the story got juicier, my phone rang. I answered even though the music was too loud because some girls are too cute to let them go to voicemail. It was Adri. She wanted to know what I was doing, and if I was going to be much longer and if I still wanted to hang out. She didn’t care where we went. Miranda was in mid-story and I started to wonder if there was a way, any way at all that I could have them both if not at the same time then at least within a few hours of each other and that’s when I came up with a solution.
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You genius!
The solution is always chocolate.
You’re such a stud. We’re incredibly impressed…